27

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Five days ago I was sitting on a chair that looked like a fish, outside of a little burrito shack in Montauk, eating an açai bowl.
This is the last place I expected to be five days ago.

The fish-shaped chair next to me was occupied by my best friend. "What is 27 about?" he asked.
This is exactly who I expected to be asking me this question.

Today is my 27th birthday.

26 was brutal. Held in the container of 26 were the sharpest of learnings. The last 365 days have shown me the full spectrum of my humanity. To each end of the pendulum, I've swung - from absolute unbounded bliss to the deepest pain and back again.
Over.
And over
And over.

26 was torture by a thousand tiny cuts. More than a handful of times I have been quite literally brought to my knees as I saw into parts of myself that hold the shadows we spend lifetimes keeping in their caves. I've seen into the ugliest parts of my being as a human.
Selfish.
Judgemental.
Entitled.
Self-important.

Afraid.
And on.
And on.
And on.
I dug deep for the things I have been most ashamed to be, and I claimed them.
I am that.
And that.
And that.

26 showed me crippling anxiety, debilitating (and I mean really, really debilitating) exhaustion, cruel manipulation by way of someone else's attachment to my growth, the bottom of the financial barrel, feeling smaller and less significant than I knew I could feel, body shame, alienation, rejection, complete and utter powerlessness...
All of it, in a kind of agony that just kept growing,
And growing.
And growing.
And growing.

26 - you beat the fucking shit out of me.

It was the best year of my entire life.

26 was when I woke the fuck up. When the veil of falseness was lifted and I learned what it means to see. I moved through excruciating revelations of the truth - THE truth - as
I shed layer
Upon layer
Upon layer
of Karma.

26 made me an entrepreneur. I leaned into the gnawing feeling in my belly that said "jump".
Undoubtedly falling
Again
And again
And again.
And every single time,
Rising.
Again.
And again.
And again.
I've learned just how infinite my impact is. Heard how mighty my voice is. Blew the fucking lid off of my creativity. All constraint around how I offer my gifts to the world has been removed as I discover what it means to live a fully expressed life.

26 showed me just how deep a friendship could be. I am truly known. For the first time in my life, there are keepers of my tale. Reflections of my own light that have taken responsibility for me. For us. For my story. Relationship of any kind offers us a polar experience of our own truth. They reveal me to myself
Time
and time
and time
again. 
In a kind of love that does not yield.

26 reshaped how I perceive abundance. I have had absolutely no money to my name and still I have been rich. In every single moment I’ve had exactly what I needed in the most basic and perfect of ways. And often, I’ve had more.
And more. 
And more.
More creativity, more community, more wonder, more love, more compassion, more support, more adventure, more truth.

26 taught me unconditional love - to truly love someone without condition. I’ve fallen IN love three times in the last 365 days. Actually, I’ve fallen in love thousands of times with people I only knew for a moment - but there are three that altered me forever. In their mirroring, I saw - continue to see - deeper. 
And deeper. 
And deeper.
They continue to influence how I shape my reality every single day because I love them without requiring a specific container to funnel that into. Regardless of the framing, the picture contained within is the same. Pure, unbounded love.

26 revealed the magic of my body.
Transformation
After transformation
After transformation
of my physical form has made clear the intelligence of this bag of bones.
This impermanent vessel housing my true Nature as Spirit itself.
In this skin I have known the sweetest, most delicious bliss.
I am more in my body than ever before, 
and it is in that landing that I can ascend.

26 instilled the unshakable belief in what must be what people call God. The Universe. Spirit. Source. The Most High.
Because I’ve been to the blackest bottom amidst the most penetrating fear, I’ve leaned into the only remaining option in moments of paralyzing uncertainty and despair…
Ask for a miracle.
And
every
single
time

I get one.
In the final moment where I am one breath away from being swallowed,
I am delivered unto a miracle.
Every.
Single.
Time.
I am held perpetually in a Grace that can only be perceived as Divine.
What’s more is that I know -
thanks to 26
- that I AM that Divinity.

There is only one scope, and
I
Am
It.

26 was a tempering. A repeated thrust into the flames and a subsequent drowning in the iciest waters.
And in this tempering I knew,
know,
he unremitting strength of steel.

26 was a deliverance to the intersection of curiosity and wonder - where Moments of Awe live.

26 was knowing with every fiber of my being
that I am
the
luckiest
person
alive


because I have breath in my lungs.

26 was breathing and believing.

I will remember my 26th year for the rest of this life.

So to answer the question of the man sitting next to me on a fish-shaped chair on a perfect day in Montauk,
who has changed my life and everything contained within it
for
ever…

“27 is about

Embodying a kind of autonomy I’ve never known but can feel myself stepping into.
I am ready for that shit.

27 is about

ealth. I am so unashamed to say that I am calling in THAT kind of richness because I know - have seen and heard and felt - how important my gifts are for this world and the time for shouting that from the fucking rooftops with reckless abandon,
is now.

27 is about

Freedom. Total flow state. The path of least resistance and fullest expression.

27 is about

Showing the fuck up. Unafraid. Unbounded. Unrelenting.

27 is about

No.
Bullshit.”

He is smiling because he knew the answer all along.

Today is my 27th birthday. Five days since the sunshine and acai and fish-shaped chairs in Montauk.
I’m in Hoboken, New Jersey in a gorgeous home on a steep hill.
The air is crisp but its edges are soft.
I’ve never heard this many birds chirping.
I’ve never been paying such close attention to this moment. 
And this one.
And this one. 
And this one.
I have no idea when we’re going home.
I know that there is nowhere to go.
But here.

26 - thank you for everything.
27 - I am ready to become you.